"The Shark"

CHRIS
Why do they call you "The Shark"?

BEN
Because when it comes to business deals, I'm a shark.

CHRIS
...

BEN
Yeah you know, like I'm walking through an office for a meeting. And I got to this guy's office, because I want him to think he has the upper hand. But he doesn't. Know why? I already own the building, and I'm having him evicted. Figuratively. So I'm walking through the office, and everyone's whispering things "Oh shit, it's The Shark", "The Shark?!?! Fuck!" and the like. So I get to the guy's office? Who is it? It's Chris Kauffman. "Uh, actually my name is CHARLIE Kauffman-" "HEY GUY, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!" He wants me to produce his next movie. So I let him pitch me. But before he gets out the first sentence, I cut him off. "Not interested." I tell him to take it, rework it, and when he thinks he's got it, I'll let Zach Braff take a pass at it. I also tell him I just slept with both his wife and his mother. As he shits his pants and vomits into his left sock (beige, with brown stripes) I exit, but not before I'm stopped by 2 secretaries. Well one is actually an "Executive Assistant" but basically, a secretary. They both want to work for me. Who do I take? The ugly one. Why? I don't dip my pen in the company ink. But I have sex with the ugly one just to prove a point. And that's how I got the name "The Shark".

CHRIS
But I thought you said they were whispering "The Shark" when you came in.

BEN
Exactly.

CHRIS
...

BEN
(squints)